raffertyesque

Please proceed to 1 Bleecker Street before beginning this walking tour. Press “Play” when ready. Mind the hobos.

The Bowery, which encompassess a narrow strip of Manhattan between Cooper Square and Chatham Square is a neighborhood in flux. Its rapid gentrification in recent years is emblematic of the City as a whole. Its juxtapositioning of old and new, homeless and multi-home-owning, punk rock and organic grocery shopping is a microcosm of the melting pot that is New York City.

The street known as “Bowery” is the one of the oldest in Manhattan. It predates European settlement, when it spanned almost the entire length of the island when it was known as “Bouwerij” which is Dutch for “Mind the hobos.” Historically, the Bowery was an upper-class neighborhood, full of upscale homes and theatres. Probably some excellent orangic grocery shopping as well, since pesticides hadn’t been invented yet.

The Bowery’s posh reputation continued until just after the Civil War. At that point, the neighborhood slowly transformed into a neighborhood better known for its flophouses, pawn shops and brothels. What comes around goes around however, as you will see over the next few blocks.

To begin our tour, look across the street and you’ll see the John Varvatos retail store which opened here in 2007. Before Mr. Varvatos moved in, 315 Bowery was home to CBGB. CBGB started out as a music club in 1973, catering to Country, BlueGrass, and Blues, before slowly turning into the epicenter of the New York punk scene in the 1980s. Punks are not known for paying their rent on time however, and in 2006 the club closed due to rent increases after a failed attempt at seeking historic landmark status. If only CBGB sold leather jackets costing thousands of dollars like John Varvatos, they might still be around.

As we walk south, you’ll see the Bowery Poetry Club on your right. Likely New York’s only lumber yard turned poetry club, this quaint little establishment is home to eccentric performances every night of the week. Drag Queen Bingo (that’s bingo, with drag queens) is every Monday night, and packs the house on a regular basis. “Skits and Tits” and “Bad-Ass Burlesque” is what you think it would be, and open mic night fluxuates between utter brilliance and, well, not.

Continuing south to Houston, you’ll notice a Whole Foods Market on your left that is a full city-block long. Until 2003, this was an empty lot, complete with green grass, growing trees and burnt-out automobiles. Now it is a Whole Foods with condos above it. That’s the Bowery for you.

Walking further south on Bowery you’ll begin to more readily notice the aforementioned juxtaposition of new and old. More precisely, it’s a juxtapostion of homeless shelters, art galleries and industrial kitchen supply stores.

When you arrive at Prince Street and Bowery, on your left you’ll see the New Museum towering above its neighbors.

The New Museum of Contemporary Art is at the heart of the Bowery’s resurgence. Like six enormous grey Lego blocks stacked atop each other, the New Museum would stick out in any neigborhood, much less the Bowery. If you look closely right now, inside you’ll see dozens of hipsters looking at the art, photographing the art with their Holgas, sketching the art in their moleskins, and comparing relative pant-tightness.

The current exhibition features a full-size caroseul made of mirrors, a sensory deprivation tank, a room full of aquatic animals molded with neon rubber, and a spiral slide that visitors can slide down three floors of the museum.

Next to the New Museum, is a homeless shelter, The Bowery Mission.

And, a door down from that, The Salvation Army.

And, a door down from that A-Plus Restaurant Supplies.

This is the Bowery.

As we walk further south, at Rivington Street, we’ll take a momentary detour east, to explore Freeman Alley.

Freeman Alley is a narrow alley, about 200 feet long right off Rivington and Bowery, and it’s a bit of a mystery. Most notably, the origin of its name is disputed. Some believe it to be named after Uzal W. Freeman, a city surveyor who lived on the Bowery in the 1800s, while others believe it refers to the road leading to the second African American burial ground… as in “free man.” (The mystery of that African American burial ground’s location is for another walking tour.)

Less mysteriously, as recently as the 1980s Freeman Alley wasn’t found on any City maps… somehow, over the decades, it just disappeared. Cars aren’t allowed down it, and since there was no street sign, it faded into the background. As a result, for years residents whose address was on Freeman Alley had unreliable mail service, since package handlers couldn’t find it.

Freeman Alley has since gotten its street sign back and is now home to the trendy Freeman’s Restaurant and the mysterious locale known only as “The Box.”

Walking back to Bowery, we’ll take a left to continue walking South. On your right, at 190 Bowery, you’ll see the home of deranged millionaire, Jay Maisel. Maisel, best known for photographing Miles Davis for the cover of “Kind of Blue” now lives in 190 Bowery, a 35,000-square-foot, 72 room, six-story mansion. He’s kind of a prick.

One block south, we approach Delancy Street. In addition to seeing Empire Restaurant Supply, Bowery Restaurant Supply, Amazing Value Restaurant Equipment, a bunch of homeless people, and Old Man Maisel himself if it’s midnight under a full moon, you might also notice the historic Bowery Ballroom on your left. It’s a club. It’s cool.

As you cross Delancy Street, on your left you’ll see the Williamsburg Bridge. This is where the hipsters you saw at the New Museum come from on their fixed gear bicycles.

Once you are south of Delancy, oh my god, you’re south of Delancy? What are you doing? You’ve gone too far! You’re on your own, man. I’m not coming with you past here. No. You can’t make me. You’re in the Lighting District now. You need lights? You better, or else you’re a dead man.